


majestic diamond octopus

by livtontea



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, IT'S A TWILIGHT AU OKAY, M/M, No Incest, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, bave..., ben is edward and somehow more edgy, dave is bella, fuckme, i am sobbing over my keyboard, i think i legally have to add this tag:, jk jk im so sorry, klaus is tragically single and not a part of this, no beta we die like my moral compass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea
Summary: does dave is has fang kink?? jk jk this is safe to read
Relationships: Dave/Ben Hargreeves
Comments: 78
Kudos: 24





	1. does dave katz is think ben cute?? click to find out (NOT CLICKBAIT!!1!!1!)

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS FUCKING CRACK AND I AM THRIVING. I DO NOT REGRET THIS BY WHICH I MEAN I HAVE MOVED PAST ACKNOWLEDGING MY REGRET. FUCK ME.

David Katz was moving into a sad little town in a sad little state on a sad little earth. It was called "forks". How sad. His mom went off to frolic with her new husband and because Dave is cool like that he was like "oh it's okay I'll live with Dad for a while love you bye." His Dad remains conspicuously nameless.

"Ugh," said Dave it was his first day at his new school and the boy sitting next to him in Bio (biology? biochemistry? biological warfare? wouldn't you like to know) was being kind of a — and he doesn't mean to be rude — a weird stuck up bitchy asshole with stupid good hair and a stupid beautiful jacket and ughhh dave hated him already. At lunch this one girl sighed over him and said his name was Ben Hargreeves which Dave thought was a stupid dumb infuriatingly good looking name, just like Ben himself.

"What the fuck is your problem dude?" If he were a pasty white girl named Bella he would probably just awkwardly glance at him from the corner of his eye, but Dave was too cool for that. His shades were Gucci.

"What?"

"You emo-looking motherfucker, I said what the fuck is your fucking problem?"

Ben Hargreaves blinked. "Who are you?"

"You know who."

"V—" said ben. "Voldemort?"

Dave narrowed his eyes. "So you think ur cute huh."

"Very," said Ben.

"You totally are," agreed Dave. "Wanna go out?"

"Oh my god" said Ben. He winced because he was emo and didn't want to sound preppy but only preps say shit like "oh my god" obviously. Shame on your resident emo status Benjamin.

"You eyes are cool" said Dave and kind of awkwardly patted Ben's cheek. The bell rang. He got his stuff and left the biohazard classroom.


	2. ravioli ravioli bella is a fuckass for wasting that food in the first movie give me the formuoli

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben is a Normal duDe and dave wants rAVioli

Dave was at the store with two random conspicuously nameless classmates who have been relentlessly hitting on him when Ben appeared out of nowere. He had a band t shirt on and black eyes and black lipstick and black hair (his hair was black) and also he had cufflinks on his hoodie. Poncy posh git, dave thought, channeling his inner britain.

"Hey," siad Ben. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well I am here" said Dave. "Which you were no if you could see."

"I can see," defended himself ben.

"And yet you didn't expect to see me… _suspicious_ ," muttered Dave to himself.

"What."

_You're a fucking prick but like damn you're kinda cute. I want to study your phylum._

"Is that a come on?" said Ben.

"I was thinking silently did u read my fucking head"

"I mean what—" said Ben. He laughed very loudly and fakely. His eyelashes glistened like dark obsidian in the foggy dreary greyness of Forks. Why is it called Forks? It's lame to live in Forks Dave would have rather lived in Knives. Or like, sporks, at the least.

"Diego would have liked to live in Knives," remarked Ben. Dave narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"You fucking did it again—"

"I MEAN _WHAT_ " Ben wheezed. He got very close to Dave and frowned in his face. He jabbed his finger at Dave's face and alsmot took out one of his eyes. Fucking shit what the hell dude? Dave LIKED his eyes, because he could see with them. _Unlike BEN possibly._ "I CAN'T READ THROUGHTS OKAY DUDE? LIKE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT JESUS."

"Your words not mine"

"No im pretty sure they were your words actually"

"YOU'RE WORDS NOT MINE," hissed Dave so loudly the weird flirty nondescript classmates flinched even though they'd already left and were now eating mushroom ravioli in a restaurant a block away. Dave pulled a smoke bomb out of his jacket threw it at Ben and ran away.

"YOU AREN'T EVEN WEARING A JACKET WHAT THE HELL—" yelled Ben after him as he coughed because smokey smokey weed weed was bad for his lungs. :(

Dave decided he wanted some ravioli too. He went to find a good ravioli place where he could buy ravioli because dave hated musheroom but not ravioli he just _really_ liked ravioli you know? Mmm… ravioli.


	3. ben is like a cornfied. stalks

"Hey you!" said the random guy who was ambushing Dave as he was coming out of the ravioli shop. Dave looked at him and then at all his buddies.

"Is this a gang? Am I gonna be attacked by a gang?" The ringleader (how does gang slang work) punched at Dave. Dave ducked out of the way. _Definitely_ a gang. " _Sick,_ " he said to himself.

"We're the Ravioli Boleys!" exclaimed a minion. Not a yellow one. A person minion. Dave needs to stop watching despicable me with his sister. "We punch whoever eats ravioli!"

"What the fuck is a boley," asked Dave.

"Uh," said the minion. He threw a pointed look at the gang leader. The leader caught it and frowned.

"We needed something that rhymes with ravioli. Anyway you're coming with us." He grabbed Dave's arm.

Dave was too drunk on ravioli (can that happen? Do people make alcoholic ravioli) to fight back properly so he just kind of stood there and thought _woah I'm about to get decked… Bon gives off stalker vibes so he must be around… it'd be like, pretty dope if he just rode up here in him mmm smexy grey sedan and did something badass… like maybe shouter "HEY MOTHERFUCKER, STOP RIGHT THERE" yeah that'd be pretty cool._

A grey sedan drove up to the cluster of people. Ben jumped out of the car and in all his emo glory screeched "HEY MOTHERFUCKER, _STOP RIGHT THERE."_ Dave swoonded.

"Omg" he said softly. "It's Beananaedr Harghreavez."

"It is i," said Beans. "Unhand the fair maden, asssholes."

"Im not a maiden i'm just full of ravioli."

"Hmm we do hate ravioli" remarked the gang in unison. It was like… super fucking creepy. But also kind of dope. Dave could add "almost getting decked by an anti-ravioli gang" to his list of things that have happened to him. Right next to the first item: being borthed.

Ben took daves arm and carefully slammed him inside the car. Before he could blink he had his seatbelt on and Ben was in the driver's seat and they were also driving away from the raviolis.

"Woah" said ddaaeve "how's yuo do that"

"Enunciate" said ben.

"W o w" said Daveed. "My liege how did you utilize your fine skills to manage a heist such as the one we just took part in?"

"Im gay" said ben

"What" said dave. "That's cool. Same worm dude."

"Worms are gross."

"So are you. Fuck off."

"Thatks."

"Np"

They drove in silenceeeeeeeEEEEETHDEMONIGC DSCRRTETHCIJHKASHFKk

"Sorry about that" siad ben. "Idk what you're thinking but if im fucking w the narrative that's on me"

"Don't fuck with the narrative dumbass," said dave. "You can't even do that."

"Forget i said anything"

"Said what" said dave, mind completely blank.

"Nothing i didn't say anything DUH"

"Yeah you didn't you're right my guy when you're dropping me off home do you want a pistachio?"

"A wot"

"A fucking pistachio benjaming"

"Sure" said ben. He almost crashed the car when dave fell out the window. "I'M OKAY" screamed dave from the ground. He got up and got back into the car. Ben drove him home.

"Bye" said dave when he got out of the car and into his house.

"See you" said ben.

That night dave dreamt about ben except he's pretty sure ben was like, watching him sleep, which was creepy as fuck. But also ben's a stalker so like what did he expect? He said "fuck off" and stuck his middle finger up and then kept sleeping. When he was dreaming he dreamt about ravioli...


	4. pistachios make a reapparance (sorry no raviolies today. dave is having a crisis)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i havent posted in a while so here's this update! hopefully i get back on track and will post more or less consistently now :) ty for your patience [fingerguns]

"Aw fuck," said Dave. He forgot to give Ben a pistachio. "Shit. Motherfucker."

"Why are you swearing?" his dad said from the other room. He was making dinner. Dave's dad was a cop by day, a professional chef by night… he has a PhD in coppery and a Master's in winery. Why was he a chef when he only had a wine degree? Well, Dad Katz also was actually… very hard working! He also had a PhD in Respecting Women and… confectionary!

"I forgot to give Ben a nut…" Dave said sadly.

"Woah there son, that's a bit too inappropriate for the table, isn't it?" said Dad Katz. Dave winced.

"No, not like, a sexual nut. No innuendo nuts. No euphemistic nuts either. I meant a pistachio."

"Those are fruit," remarked Dad as he popped an entire shrimp platter into the oven.

"Oh my god really?"

"No. Why would you fall for that."

"Oh."

Dave turned into a pile of boneless slop sadly. He was sad… he wished he could have shared the wonder of pistachios with Ben. But he'd forgotten and now it was the weekend days later, and it was too late… :(

"It's okay kiddo," said Dad, ignoring Dave's sigh at being called kiddo. "You can give him a pistachio at school tomorrow. There there." He pulled a gelatin souffle off of the stove top. It was perfectly melted. "Here, let's eat for now."

Dinner was served.

-

The next day Dave walked into his Biohazard Biochemical Bodacious Bongwater Bog Bio class and fall into he seat next to Benito Hargnito. Benito Magneto. Owo… what a thought… could Benny control the magnetisms with his mind-boggling boggles? Dave has never seen a single marvel movie.

He looked Ben in the eye as he reached into his special Biohazard Biochemical Bodacious Bongwater Bog Bio Bag (BBBBBBag for short) and put a massive Bag (a Bag with a capital B because it was important to him…) of pistachios on the table. He slid it toward Ben without breaking eye contact.

"What is this." Ben poked the bag of green. It wasn't weed though… that would be illegal… just pistachios here… no drugs… no nuggies… just pistachios…

"They're nuts."

"Is that a euphemism."

Dave groanged and slemmd his haed on the table. "UGH, NO. why do people keep saying my pistachios are sex things. They're NOT. porn-free nuts."

"Jesus christ are you okay?"

"Eat the fucking nut ben. Eat is. Observe the pistachio. Love the pistachio. Do it, Bne Harngeggves. Fucking EAT IT."

Ben opened the bag and put a nut in his mouth with a shaking hand. He chewed and swallowed. Dave narrowed his eyes. He did not break eyeball contact.

"Are you a fucking idiot? WHy didn't you fucking peel it oh my god what the fuck Ben."


	5. lunch is arranged. seats are stolen. siblings are introduced

"Do you want to sit with me at lunch?"

Dave squinted at Ben. He was still wearing the godawful hoodie with cufflinks. His jeans were so torn Dave could see only fabric, because they weren't torn at all. Ben wasn't an eboy—he valued his legs' privacy.

"What are you, twelve?"

"Oh a scale of one to ten? No, absolutely not. I'm probably like, a six."

"Don't sell yourself short. You're a solid seven and a half."

"That… that's not a very solid number."

Dave put his hand on Ben's cheek and leaned in. "Then I guess that's a you problem. Save me a seat."

He walked away and very pointedly did _not_ punch the air and whisper-shout, "Yesss!" After all, he was cool, calm, and collected. He was on his way to Bio for the third time that day. For some reason, it seemed like it was the only class he ever had. Which would be irrational, because no way a high school would be so poorly organized, right? Like, there's obviously more than one class in the day. Definitely. One hundred per cent.

-

It was lunch, and Ben was freaking out on the other side of the cafeteria. Dave could tell because Ben was waving his hands and kind of shouting extremely loudly at one of his siblings, "KLAUS I'M FREAKING OUT!" The named sibling hummed pensively and took a sip of his Capri Sun.

Dave took a deep breath and choked on air. Ouch. When he was done dying, he gathered himself metaphorically and walked over to where Ben was now slumped in his chair over the table, with his face planted into the shitty imitation-wood plastic. It was like imitation crab, but not delicious, and also plastic. Klaus or whoever the hell was patting his head.

"Please stop patting my head," said Dave. Klaus or whomever the heck retracted his hand and moved it to Ben's head.

"Sorry," said Klaus McCullen—ah fuck, Dave is shit with names—or rather, Klaus McHargreeves.

"I have not felt the hand of another human in many moons…" dramatized Ben.

"Ok fine then asshole I won't pat your head."

"That's literally the oppostie of what I just said."

"Fuck you you cryptic Bitch with a capital B."

"You too, dickhead with a capital A."

Dave blinked at the exchange. "Dickhead doesn't start with A."

"dickheAd."

"Ohhhhh," enunciated Dave.

"Anyway Dave here these are my siblings. Lex Luthor, Diego mc bitchface—" the boy with an edgie scar on his face and a knife in his pocket frowned—"allison the best sibling, klaus (we don't talk about klaus)—"

"HEY," said Klaus. Nobody talked about him. As was prophecised by the ben.

"—Then five but he's a middle schooler he's not here—"

"That's not true," said Allison. "He broke into my Math101 classroom today and knocked out the professor and taught the class himself."

"Yeah that seems legit," chorused everyone at the table. Dave was still standing awkwardly so he didn't chorus anything. Mother FUCKER, Ben didn't fucking save him a seat. Asshole. Ben frowned and flipped Dave off, which further confirmed what Dave has decided to dub the Pistachio Theory.

"ANYWAY" ejaculated Ben, "oh god JKR is possessing me, oh god, oh hell, someone take that dialogue tag away from me oh shit—right-o anyway, next there me, and then that's it."

A girl with a white bowtie raised her hand.

"Nevermind Vanya is a thing too. Now it's all of us."

A girl with a white bowtie lowered her hand.

"You didn't save me a seat," said Dave.

"Yes. I did. I definitely did." Ben leaned over to Allison and whispered very loudly, " _Where did the fucking chair go?"_

Allison leaned over to ben and whispered back quietly.

"OHHHH" said Ben. He got up and left the cafeteria.

"Tah dah," said Allison. "Sit down. We have to discuss our dinner date plans."

Dave sat down. Yippee.

"NO SARCASM AT THE TABLE" Ben's voice echoes through the cafeteria ominously.


	6. the great reveal... barbie girl plays on in the background

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i havent actually seen all of twilight and this is the point i stopped watching, and i read the book like a year ago and repressed most of it, so from here on it's just kind of whatever the fuck i feel like doing. cheers sdkjsdkf
> 
> edit: I POSTED THIS EXACTLY THE FIRST MINUTE OF FUCKING JUNE SO THIS CHAPTER SAYS GAY RIGHTS I GUESS!!!!! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BABES!!!<33  
> edit edit: IM SO FUCKING STUPID ITS ALSKJHASLDKJFHASDKLJ I THOUGHT IT WAS FUCKING JUNE OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS I FEEL SO CHEATED ITS MAY GODDAMN TIME IS FAKE PRIDE MONTH IS FOREVER !!!!! JESUS I NEED A NAP

"Psst," said Ben to Dave last period. "Do you want to go to the woods with me?"

Dave squinted at Ben. His eyes drifted to the cufflinks on his sleeves, the small octopodes shining in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the classroom window. He leveled Ben with a straight (ha, straight, Dave was anything but) stare.

"That sounds like you're going to kill me."

"Oh. I guess you're right. Do you want to go with me so I can sacrifice you to the old gods and bathe in your blood?"

"Are you a satanist?"

"No." Ben adjusted his cufflinks. "I'm an atheist."

"Mm."

"Why?" Said Ben with a teasing twinkle in his eye. "Are you?"

"I'm Jewish."

"Oh. That's cool."

"Mhm."

Ben kept messing with the cufflinks. What kind of asshole even wears cufflinks on a hoodie? Prick.

"Sure. What time?"

"What?"

"What time do you want to go to the woods to sacrifice me?"

"We could go today, if you want. After school."

The bell rang.

"Perfect. Let's."

-

The woods were sunny. Not like, in an overly sunny way, just… sunny. Bright. Not like Forks (what a dumb name) usually is.

Ben was walking ahead of Dave. Suddenly, he stopped in a clearing, and turned around to face him. Now Dave was the one in the center of the clearing.

"Uh, Ben? You aren't," he said, nervously, "you aren't _actually_ going to sacrifice me, right?"

Ben came closer to Dave. His mouth had creases at the edges. He was pale… he had dark hair… a widow's peak…

 _Oh my god,_ Dave thought. _He has a widow's peak. I know what's up with him._

"I know what you are," said Dave breathlessly. Ben loomed over Dave, even though he was about three inches shorter.

"Say it," said Ben. "Out loud." Dave said nothing. "SAY IT!"

 _Okay, damn,_ thought Dave, and he said, "V—"

"V?"

"Voldemort."

"God DAMMIT, Dave, be SERIOUS about this. It's all my edginess in your hands here."

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," said Dave. "Here wait we can do it again—"

"No, it's too late. You threw off the groove." _So the edigest emo with cufflinks watches The Emperor's New Groove… interesting._

"Vampire."

Ben did sad jazz hands. "Bingo. Now come on, let me show you a cool thing."

"I love cool things."

"I know, Dave." Ben took him by the hand and dragged him to a spot in the clearing where there was a direct beam of sunlight. He stood in it and looked at Dave expectantly.

"Oh my god…" Dave breathed. What he was seeing rendered him… breathless.

"I know."

"Your... your cufflinks… Ben, they're shining so bright?"

Ben frowned and deflated. "What the fuck, Dave, no, that's not—no! No. Look."

He pulled off his hoodie. Dave gasped. The sight of Ben's bare chest made a soft breeze blow through his (Ben's, not Dave's) hair and a swarm of leaves circled Ben like they were in Pocahontas.

"You don't wear shirts under your hoodies? Ben, that's so gross, what the hell."

"WH—Ugh, NO! THAT'S—JUST, JUST _LOOK._ "

"I'm looking! Why don't you have a shirt—ohhhhh. Oh, okay, yeah. Mhm. Makes sense."

"Finally."

"Yep. The tattoo… of course, how didn't I see it before—"

Ben's eyes bugged out in unadulterated frustration. He screamed through his teeth and grabbed Dave by the front of his shirt, pulling him close to his bare chest.

"It's not the fucking _tattoo._ Look. At. Me."

Dave stared at Ben's skin. It was pale-ish, with scars and stretch marks here and there. It was glittering pleasantly, a soft ringing noise echoing in Dave's ears. Ben's abs were surprising, in the way that they weren't surprising at all, because while Ben was toned he did not have nine abs (eight and one secret hidden ab) like Batman.

Wait a second—

Glittering?

"OH FUCK," Dave gasped. "OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. OH FUCK. WHAT."

Ben rolled his eyes and let go of Dave. He picked his hoodie up off the ground and put it back on. He was no longer ringing or glittering. "Why did that take you so long."

"YOU SPARKLE."

"Yep."

"LIKE—" Dave waved with his hand. "LIKE FUCKING BARBIE OR SOMETHING?"

"What? How does—you know what, nevermind, what the fuck. Don't you think I'm repulsive?"

Dave stared into Ben's eyes. "Benjamin. Benny. Benito. You _glitter._ You're like a fucking Disney Princess. Why… would that be gross."

"I'm a monster."

"Uh, yeah you are. Why the hell do you not wear a shirt under your hoodie? Like literally what's up with that—" at Ben's expression of exasperation Dave came to the realization that he'd interrupted the self-loathing caboose. "Oh shiiiit right yeah yeah, monstrous, totally. But like, you're pretty cool, so it's fine, I think."

Ben sighed. "Let's go back to the car."

And so they went back to the car and Ben dropped Dave off at his home (Dave's not Ben's) and they did not share pistachios, but rather, a knowledge that Ben was the Ultimate Barbie Girl. Dave smiled, and when he was getting out of the car, he said to Ben, "By the way, your sister arranged our dinner date tomorrow, and you're picking me up. Bye! Shine bright like a diamond."

Ben flipped him off and drove away in his stunning grey Subaru. The paint was the kind that sparkled lightly in the sun, so as he drove away, the paint sparkled lightly in the sun...


	7. half-assed meet the family! part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> omg look it's a MOM. and a sister. and defiance of stephenie meyer bc i dont adhere to her fakeass rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry lmao it's been much more than a hot second, i'm back w this shitty chapter tho 😌 jsyk i never finished the first twilight movie and read the first 2.5 books like 2 years ago, so we're reaching the point where i don't remember anything that happened in canon at all. ENJOY

" _This_ is your house?"

Ben nodded and smiled at Dave's blatant astonishment. "Yep."

"Motherfucker…" breathed Dave. "This place is huge."

"It's our Dad's."

"Your Dad's? Isn't he, like…"

"Yeah, he died. It was…" Ben licked his lips, "very tragic. Definitely. We, uh, we miss him a lot." His voice cracked, almost like he was lying. But why would he lie about missing his dead dad? Ahah…

"Anyway, our mom's making dinner. Her cooking is to die for."

Dave laughed awkwardly.

Ben did too, realizing what he had said. "It's cool. I mean, uh—we are kind of dead. So. Yeah. Her cooking is great."

"I thought you didn't need to eat?"

"Why the hell would we not need to eat? I mean, we're people too, literally why would we not need food."

"I don't know."

"Exactly. Come on, let's go."

Ben dragged Dave up the front yard and then up the strip of sidewalk connecting the soup kitchens to the foyer and together they traipsed through the enormous house until Dave blinked and they were in the car again.

“What.”

“Dude,” said Ben, like a dude.

Dave and Ben walked into the house.

“AAAA,” screamed the giant onion that hit Ben in the face. It was a veggie tales plushie. Dave had never seen veggie tales.

“Thank you Klaus,” said Ben. “I appreciate it.”

“You do.”

Klaus was nowhere to be seen… maybe Dave needed glasses.

“Anyway,” said Ben. “Family, this is Dave. Dave, family.”

Dave waved. A voice from the kitchen called, “It’s lovely to meet you, David!”

“Just Dave is fine.”

“Of course, come on in! I’ve prepared rosemary bread.”

Dave looked at Ben, who shrugged, and lead him into the kitchen. A blonde woman in heels the length of Dave’s palm was, to put it frankly, vibing. Her hair was curled but tied up with a pretty dope bandana and she was wearing a hoop skirt.

“Ta-dah!” said the woman. “I’m Grace, but you can call me mom. This is the bread, help yourself.”

“Thank you,” said Dave. The fresh loaf of bread stank of rosemary and deliciousness and also prophesied much bread-related dreams in Dave’s future. “Uh, is there a knife or something?”

Grace smiled. “Whatever for?”

“...To slice the bread?”

“Oh, right, Ben brought home a human. Well, Dave, we don’t really do it like that around here.”

Grace’s fingernails extended into pastel pink claws and in one swift move she sliced a neat slice off of the previously unsliced bread. She blew on her nails like she was a gangster in a greaser movie blowing on her gun. Dave hasn’t seen many greaser movies. Grace’s nails shrunk and she grinned at him.

“Go on; take a bite. It’s home-made.”

Dave reached out and took the slice of bread. Grace turned away to continue vibing, and from the corner of his mouth, Dave asked Ben, “She’s not planning on killing me, right?”

Ben gasped and clutched at his cufflinks.

“DAVE,” he said. “I— I CANNOT _BELIEVE,_ YOU WOULD EVEN _SUGGEST_ SUCH A THING. THAT IS MY _MOTHER._ ”

“Okay,” agreed Dave. “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s whatever. We don’t eat people though.”

Allison in a yellow and white striped sundress appeared before them and winked. She grabbed a pitched of red juice from the fridge and said, “Unless they ask.”

Ben wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”

“I have met many disturbing people in my long life.”

“You’re the same age as me.”

“You’re the same age?” asked Dave. Allison winked again and blended against the fridge, then disappeared. The juice disappeared with her.

“Yeah. We all are.”

“Isn’t there like, seven of you?”

Ben looked at Dave with a straight face. “Our father was a very avid and dedicated Pokemon Go player.”

“...Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hate twilight and myself  
> my tumblr is @seven-misfits you can be angry about this at me there


End file.
